Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
