Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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