I look better un-naked...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
