he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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