WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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