Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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