Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
