i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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