i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
