Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
