We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
