Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
