$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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