i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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