she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize