I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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