well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize