What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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