Me too!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
