lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
