sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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