They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
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He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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