new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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