that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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