Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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