yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
