Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
