Will you blow on my dice?
only if we run a train.
done.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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