What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Someone signed my nipple.
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