dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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