Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
