I got chris browned last night
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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