i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
