He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
