The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Watching her eat just hurts me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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