yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
