Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So. Much. Porn.
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