I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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