She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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