just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
