Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
home. puking in laundry basket.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
