I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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