Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
