talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
