Someone shit on the floor
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
