Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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