even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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