She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
