anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
