I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
