Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
