I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
