And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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