Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's rum buckets o'clock
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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