i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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