I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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