When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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