In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
