I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize