I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
