I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
organizing the empties. That sober.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
