So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
