If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
